Yes, I did fall off the face of the Earth

Wow, it has been forever since I have updated the blog!! I plan on taking care of the this week and get caught up! Life, work, kids, and my energy level have been way too out of control for me to handle! So, things are much better....and I have decided that attitude is playing a big role in my functioning so I have adjusted the big A and we are going to roll with the other factors because really....what choice do I have :) y'all that have stayed with me stay tuned! Mucho info to follow!!

Insomnia

It strikes often around here. It has been awhile but when it does it is usually for my good. It helps sweep some cobwebs out of my heart. I heard on Klove last weeks that you need to go back where it all started sometimes. See where you have been and what made you who you are. I think that is true. So, I have been reading our blog. My life over the last 6 years. There are MANY things I am proud of and then many seasons that break my heart. I ran across this post called Life Lessons. It is just one of those articles I read and say....how true, I couldn't have said it any better.....

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer- Cleveland, OH


To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we’d grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.


"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."- Romans 6:23

Punkin' Patch

We found a pumpkin patch to go to this year! Hill Ridge Farms in Youngsville, NC :) It is HUGE with TONS to do....it should be stated that there were also TONS of people there!! We went while mom and dad were here visiting so thankfully they could assist in monitoring the madness...haha!
We went on a train ride, hayride, played in the maze, the huge slide, picked pumpkins, and completely and totally wore the kids OUT!

                                                      When did she become so GROWN???

                                                 It appears sweet and innocent....see below....

                                                                  Nana and Papa

                                                            Mom.....she's messing with me again!!!

                                                                 Get her OFF OF ME!!!!!!

                                                                Me and the hubs

                                           I LOVE this!! They painted all sorts of fall on hay bales.....

                                                      We tried....the best of MANY attemps

                                                                      My little blue eyed darling :)

                                                        She CAN be so sweet when she chooses :)

                                          Ready for the train ride they waited over and hour for....

                                                          Pickn out a punkin'

                                                        I LOVE letting him just have at it with his ice cream!

We had a blast and are SO glad mom and dad were able to come out and spend a few days here with us! We were missing them so much and it is just never enough....I am counting down the days until Thanksgiving break already!!

I hate meatloaf....

but this recipe is DELICIOUS! This recipe is to die for....Lexi even made a happy plate! It is from the Pioneed Woman's website. It is called "My favorite meatloaf"

http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/?s=My+favorite+meatloaf

I highly recommend it and so does Russ....which never happens! I was so excited I had to get on here and share with my two readers....mom and mom....haha!!

And just one more thing......

Just like my little man....sometimes I just throw a fit!

I really struggle with someone possibly thinking I am something I am not, thinking I am better than I actually am…. I have many faults, many failures, and by NO means deserve or think I deserve any prize for behavior. I don’t ever want/plan to disappoint anyone, especially my children, who this is written for them to read someday. I want them to know and understand my heart, my struggles, and my God. They will hopefully know one day just how deep my passion runs. This carries over into a lot of areas of my life. If I like it, I really like it…If I love you, I really love you. I know no concept of moderation and sometimes that can really bite me in the bohuncus (bottom) as Lauren calls it! So, all that to say I hate it when I fall, I really hate it when I know I chose to fail, and I hate it when I can’t seem to repent, give it to God and just go on…..quit wearing that cloak of guilt. I sometimes like to just wallow in it when I make mistakes. Like if I feel bad enough it will make it ok….it doesn’t work like that. I serve a God who forgives, thankfully….I love Psalms 103


Psalm 103

The Forgiving God

Davidic.

1 My soul, praise the LORD,

and all that is within me, praise His holy name. (A)

2 My soul, praise the LORD,

and do not forget all His benefits. (B)

3 He forgives all your sin; (C)

He heals all your diseases. (D)

4 He redeems your life from the Pit; (E)

He crowns you with faithful love and compassion. (F)

5 He satisfies you [a] with goodness; (G)

your youth is renewed like the eagle. (H)

6 The LORD executes acts of righteousness

and justice for all the oppressed. (I)

7 He revealed His ways to Moses, (J)

His deeds to the people of Israel. (K)

8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious,

slow to anger and full of faithful love. (L)

9 He will not always accuse [us]

or be angry forever. (M)

10 He has not dealt with us as our sins deserve

or repaid us according to our offenses. (N)

11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,

so great is His faithful love

toward those who fear Him. (O)

12 As far as the east is from the west,


so far has He removed


our transgressions from us. (P)

13 As a father has compassion on his children,

so the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him. (Q)

14 For He knows what we are made of,

remembering that we are dust. (R)

15 As for man, his days are like grass—

he blooms like a flower of the field; (S)

16 when the wind passes over it, it vanishes,

and its place is no longer known. (T) [b]

17 But from eternity to eternity

the LORD's faithful love is toward those who fear Him,

and His righteousness toward the grandchildren (U)

18 of those who keep His covenant,

who remember to observe His instructions. (V)

19 The LORD has established His throne in heaven,

and His kingdom rules over all. (W)

20 Praise the LORD,

[all] His angels of great strength,

who do His word,

obedient to His command. (X)

21 Praise the LORD, all His armies,

His servants who do His will. (Y)

22 Praise the LORD, all His works

in all the places where He rules. (Z)

My soul, praise the LORD!

Thank you God for loving me, just the way I am, flaws and all….You are a great, merciful, loving, kind, and just God. I am unworthy of your blessing.

The hard is what makes it great.....

I like what Tom Hanks' character said in the movie, "A League of Their Own," when Geena Davis' character said she was quitting, because the whole baseball/life thing was too hard:

"It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everybody would do it. The hard... is what makes it great."

Since some just come by the blog to look at pics! haha~ Here is Russ and I before the Lady Antebellum concert this week.

I have had so many “aha” moments the last few weeks I don’t even know where to start. I am realizing sometimes the only way I can learn a lesson is if I am taken completely away from everything I feel “comfortable” with and in control of and then and only then do I realize I am NOT running this show.

Sadly, I am sure many of you have heard me say that God gave me my third baby to “show me” I wasn’t in control and needed help with this life thing. With two I could still “handle it.” I was still going and blowing like nobodies business and thought it was easy. When Will showed up….or more accurately, when Lauren’s personality decided to shine through I was in for it!  God is gently showing me that is NOT how He wants me to view it. He doesn’t want me to fail. He doesn’t want me to fall flat on my face before I come running to Him. In fact, He wants me to SUCCEED. He LOVES me and really WANTS me to be happy and productive. After all, this is His world. As I was telling someone the “show me” story last week it was like He whispered in my ear…..Tenille, I gave you Will because I think you CAN. Through Him I CAN be mom to three 5 and under, I CAN work full time in a very busy neuro practice, I CAN still cook, workout, and not have a house that is falling apart. I CAN have a good attitude and be loving to my kids and husband. It literally took my breath away. He thinks I can do this. In fact, He thinks I can do it well….only through Him. He places our life situations just as they should be to bring out our very BEST.

1 Corinthians 7:20: Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him.

It states this several times in 1 Corinthians 7….It was like God knows I need to hear it more than once to really believe. Tenille, I put your hard headed, spunky, determined, overwhelmed, exhausted, and lonely self in Raleigh, North Carolina for a reason and that reason is for you to have all the distracters taken away so WE (me and God) can get down to business. This life thing is happening NOW and I don’t get a REDO!! He didn’t list all the adjectives….that would be my own description! Haha!

Anyway, this is truly a letter to my kiddos because I don’t want them ever to loose sight of the fact that they are where they are supposed to be IF they are truly seeking His will and allowing Him to direct their paths. If it seems bigger than you it probably is but just HOLD on because you never know just how GOOD it can be if you choose to let HIM show you. Sometimes He likes to show out…..through His children.

This is by NO means tooting my own horn. There is very little that I am doing right now other than surviving, but that in itself right now is pretty big to me. This has been a very tough week…at work, home, and generally all around. : I am certainly no Mother Teresa or "plaster saint." I am just an average sinner, saved by grace. My head knowledge and my emotions are often at war with each other. My life is full of inconsistencies, if not outright hypocrisies. I heard Beth Moore say….is it still hypocritical if you are pretending to be the person you really want to be?.....my answer is yes. I struggle with sin, and I don't always live in "Victory on Praise Mountain." NEVERTHELESS...God answers my prayers, hears my cries, and absolutely adores me...just as I am. I thank God that His grace is granted not because of my goodness, but because of His. The message of these blogs is this: If He is doing this for Tenille Rauls, average sinner; He most certainly will do it for you.

I am excited to admit that I have renewed hope. I don’t think that all I have to do until Will can dress and feed himself is survive. It CAN be more than that and I am claiming His promises…..and I am sure Russ is too!

Outer Banks

A daddy's love

Miss Priss

Beautiful view at dinner...only disturbed by Lexi puking halfway through...

Cape Hatteras Light House

Lexi is now scared to DEATH of the ocean

GIANT waves

The babies just can't hang with the big dogs!

Picture says it all....it is in the high 80's

First flight

When did she become grown?????

Russ and his mom

Bodie lighthouse was under construction

Family of 5....we should have out own sitcom

Russ and Lexi walked to the top of Cape Hatteras- 248 steps

She was SO proud

The girls

It was gorgous

Melts my heart- God knew she better be cute or her mama might beat her!!!

Sea Oats

Clinton and Dorla

Last weekend Russ's parents came into town! We decided to take them to the outer banks. We found a place to stay in Nags Head. We went to the Wright Brothers Museum, visited two lighthouses, and indulged in a TON of food :) I had a bit of food poisoning Saturday night but I rallied and was eating quesadillas by lunch Sunday~ haha!! It was ummmm interesting as always with three kiddos in the car for multiple hours. We had a great time though and got to see some beautiful sights.
The waves were enormous! They said hurricane Igor was affecting the tides already. Lexi about got swept away to sea! A wave swept into the beach where we were standing and knocked her down and tried to take her back with it but this mama would have NONE of that....needless to say we were packed up and headed to the pool within 5 minutes of that little episode!
We are enjoying the sites!! Thanks mima and snow for making the LONG drive out here. Your grandbabies were in HEAVEN!! Will never let go of snow~ They have the sweetest bond.....

Learning to be content

Among the MANY things I am learning on this trip out East, contentment with my current surroundings and with the person I am is at the top of the list too... This was a devotional from Proverbs 31 last week that really spoke to me. I have always admitted I am my own worst enemy when it comes to being hard on myself. I am always striving to do more, be more, give more, etc. Sometimes that is not a good thing. In fact, I am seeing it can be a problem in my family. I am trying to learn to just be content. Who I am at the moment if who God made me to be.

You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought." Matthew 5:5 (MSG)


Lord, how can I become content with just who I am, nothing more and nothing less?

I'm certainly prone to want to be more, or less, than I am. To be smarter, prettier, funnier, fitter. To be more productive, perky and high energy. And then also to be lower key, calmer, more level-headed and focused.

I want to have better self-awareness, and yet I want to be less concerned about what others think of me.

I want to be a better cook, to sing beautifully and to keep th e house neat without so much perceived effort. And did I mention fuller, thicker hair would be nice too? I want to be a better writer – one that's both highly creative and meticulously organized. And I want fewer propensities to run late, slack off or procrastinate.

Yes, I want to be both more and less of me.

Jesus shushes my endless listing of the things I want to change about myself – to improve about myself so I can have what I'm sure would be a better life. He asks me instead to humbly make peace with it all. To lay down my notions of a better woman and a better life by letting Him be the judge of that. To simply take what I'm given and offer it back to Him, in service and surrender. Willingly assuming that I am enough – I have what it takes to live a great life. One that pleases God, others and self.

Today's key verse is among several in the Bible that fuels a core convi ction I hold: When I stop striving to create a life for myself, I find the life God creates for me. This, my friend, is a powerful truth, a divine secret. His life for me begins precisely where mine ends. My life ends in my sin and striving and begins again in God's grace and power. His empowering indwelling affords me everything I truly need and nothing I truly don't.

Do you too long to be content with just who you are in Christ – nothing more and nothing less? Jesus addresses us both in Matthew 23:11-12, ""Do you want to stand out? Then step down. Be a servant. If you puff yourself up, you'll get the wind knocked out of you. But if you're content to simply be yourself, your life will count for plenty." (MSG)

Amazingly, God's grace humbles a woman without degrading her, and His favor lifts her up without inflating her. The life she finds in Him makes her the proud owner of everything money can't buy – a life of contentment.

Dear Lord, help me to quiet my critical, striving spirit today and gratefully accept who I am and where I'm at in this moment. For You are here, ready to invisibly empower my life to count for plenty right where I am. Help me also to seek and hold your definition of "plenty" – nothing more and nothing less. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Status change :)

Well, the whole going private things was too much trouble! Until I have issues I will just remain OPEN but stay here at this address. I can send this blog straight to a book form so I will try to start moving 6 YEARS worth of scrapbooking over!!! Any volunteers?? haha!
Our old site is http://tenille.blogplot.com/

Hola~

Well, I have had a blog now for a little over 6 years!! Crazy huh....I started trying to move all of our past posts over here last year and obviously gave up but decided to revive this site and go private. I am not sure how/what I will do to get all my posts and pics from the other site....any ideas? I LOVE having this and it is my only scrapbook for the kids so I want to keep a record of it. Anyway, sorry for the change but just think it is something I should do for the family....to go private. I don't have some scary reason and nothing has happened to cause me to go private. I have just been thinking about it for quite some time and decided to just bite the bullet and do it! :)

Man, today I am wiped out after a fun filled (what I thought was relaxing) weekend! We went to Jordan Lake and then out to eat at the mall yesterday. The kids loved the lake....momma not so much. We went to the swimming area and it was just straight up nasty! Then, when we got home I heard on the news it had been closed last week for an abnormally large bacteria count....No kidding! Then, sweet little Will got cussed out by another little kid on the playground, Lauren got sand thrown in her hair, and I just about had to tell another momma to get a hold of her kids! Whew....enough to make me want to catch the next plane home! BUT, we did get to eat some yummy grilled hot dogs and make some smores that I could have eaten half a dozen of :) Lexi got to practice her swimming. She is doing so good! She even passed the swimming test at the track out program she is in last week. I guess you have to just take the good with the bad!

The pics show there were some happy times.....

A lot of Sunday and Monday were spent on financial planning.....I finished reading Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover and there is not a better book I can recommend to friends other that the bible! It is wonderful and SO eye opening. Russ and I survived budget planning without killing each other so we celebrated with dinner out at the Twisted Fork. We had heard it was really good. I enjoyed mine..... :)

This year will be a lot of firsts that are going to build us in character, patience, and appreciation of what we have back "home." I have such a respect now for people that have to move often. I am not sure I am strong enough woman to do that! I am already praying for cheap plane tickets so we can come home for Thanksgiving. I know we can't come home both Thanksgiving and Christmas so I am pulling for Thanksgiving. Usually, all of my family gets together then anyway and that is the time I am most likely able to get off work without causing a terrible inconvenience. Russ probably won't be able to come too but we will see...

I am not wanting to be Debbie Downer so I will close with we are never given more than we can handle....I do know and believe this to be true. Also, I am under no pretense that what we are "going through" is of anything significant. I am just inconvenienced. By NO means am I actually going through tough times. My family is healthy and we have jobs. I have MUCH to be thankful for and I am... truly but I also want to be honest. It is not all peaches and cream in the Rauls house right now.:) I am actually thankful God brought us this way because in the end I am sure I will be able to see His purpose and reasoning for it all. Thank you so much for the prayers you are sending our way~ I can feel them. Love you all!
Your Savior knows your breaking point. The bruising and crushing and melting process is designed to reshape you not ruin you. -Chuck Swindoll