Fostering: It IS

HARD

• when you are the mommy, but you are not
• when you don't feel a connection but even harder when you do
• when you give until there isn't anything left, but more is still needed
• when all you can think of is sleep and it never comes
• when you see how far behind a sweet one really is
• when you show up for a visit and no one else does
• when you have to share the news no one else is coming with a dear one
• when a birthday comes and goes and you are the only one who acknowledges their special day
• when you want to tell a "parent" like it is and you know Jesus called you for more
• when you explain for the thousandth time, "yes it IS hard when they leave"
• when you just wanna scream PLEASE quit saying "I couldn't let them go".....do you think we are heartless?
• when NO ONE understands the path you have chosen but a fellow foster parent
• when TALKING about it and LIVING it are NOT the same
• when you walk away for the last time and your heart splits in two
• when your child prays for a sweet one to be their brother or sister and you know that won't happen
• when a new one comes
• when a new one leaves
• when a new one ROCKS every bit of routine in your household
• when nothing is familiar of yourself
• when you know you failed
• when you fall in love so hopelessly you know your life will never the same
• when you don't know the answer to their questions
• when they pray for their mommy to not "do the drugs"
• when you see the need and are overwhelmed by it yet those who are called AREN'T ANSWERING
• when there aren't any good explanations
• when even on your most patient of timelines things are still pending

Yet all of that is NOTHING compared to the insurmountable joy in knowing you are walking in HIS will for your life and answering His call.

EASY:

• when you LOVE
• when you stay in the Word 
• when you remember you and to God and God alone
• when you throw away the perception of others about your choices- the world DOESN"T GET IT
• when you are surrounded by encouragers
• when you have friends and family who pick up the slack
• when the precious ones smile at you
• when you see the need
• when you see progress in your precious one
• when you see your own child developing a servant's heart 
• when the pain brings you to Jesus feet and you feel His presence like never before
• when I am needed as their advocate
• when you have an empty room
• when you know you have been called
• when His word COMMANDS me to care for them
• when the JOY fills your heart when you see a breakthrough you thought would never come for a child
• when a parent weeps and thanks you for loving their child

Whoever taught us that Christianity was easy was a liar. Our savior bled and died on a cross.....for MY sins while He was perfect.....ummmm so why should my life be easy again if I accept Him? COME ON people! Wake up and take back Christianity from "the American dream." The book Radical completely rocked me to the core in 2011. May I never be the same. 

"The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway." Mother Teresa

I am not out to change the world, but I am out to love each child brought my way to the very best of my ability. I am so blessed to have had the privilege of God removing "the scales from my eyes" and allowing me to live life in a manner such as this. My families entire perspective has been changed. What was important no longer is....These walls that encase my family are precious and sacred. If you cross the threshold as a "precious one" you are family and you are loved. My four year old will tell you that. How grateful I am that even they get it. Why don't we all? That still small voice that tugs at your heart....listen to it. It just might make your life hard- for the best of you and oh how worth it, it truly is.....
God's best,
Tenille
James 1:27